When memory fails

Recently I have started forgetting things...not everything though. It's so unusual, so weird and I am sorry because I know you got upset when I told you about it. But it's not my fault...it just happened, and maybe it's even good for me, maybe it's my own body or self doing it in order to make my life easier. You even said it yourself, maybe it's good that I forget some things.

I was so surprised last time we talked when you said I was one of your best friends. Really surprised 'cause see, I forgot you ever told me I was one of your best friends and you also said you were one of my best friends (surprised again). So you mean we are best friends? I am sorry, I forgot we ever declared each other best friends, however, I do remember the fact that you haven't called in a while and that you didn't even try to write a short email to say hello.

In the past I used to collect words and promises and keep them to my heart, because the words of my friends were always things I treasured, I even replayed phrases and conversations in my mind and they would make me feel so good. But something happened, something changed and the words of the people I called friends or even lovers started to clash with their actions. I wondered, why would he do such a thing when he promised me otherwise?

The first time it happened I let it go and so I did with the second and the third because I didn't want to judge anyone, I wanted to give everyone a chance. But it didn't work out that way. People kept on doing the same things, things different from their promises. So I just started forgetting the "I love u's" the "I care's", the "You can count on me's" and the "I will be there's". These words and promises just vanish the minute I hear them and I swear it's not my fault! I strive to remember, but I just can't. So please, if you love me, if you are my friend, don't just let me know, go ahead and show me...

"L'homme c'est rien, l'ouvre c'est tout" Gustave Flaubert